The Fire Next Summer

In his relentless campaign to frighten America about global warming, Vice President Gore may be planning to switch from ice to fire.

Last year, he positioned himself in front of Grinnell Glacier, in Glacier National Park, during early September, which just happens to be the time of year when U.S. glaciers reach their lowest ebb. "This glacier is melting," he intoned, even though the literature of his own National Park Service states that the glacier has been receding there for about the last 150 years—100 years longer than human beings could have been warming the globe. Not only that, but there’s no evidence of summer daytime warming in the last 100 years, which is the time of day and year when glaciers melt.

Next summer, it looks as though Gore will go out of the icebox and into the fire. According to the U.S. Forest Service Natural Resource Agenda’s Communication Plan, the veep is ready to take the heat.

Their "Media Communications" appendix says that this summer, the Forest Service Chief Mike Dombeck will visit "fires receiving high media coverage." We’re sure Gore won’t be far behind. We can already picture him pointing to the acres of flames and stating ominously, "These forests are burning."